Sorry for my absence, I’ve been a little preoccupied changing diapers, cleaning up puke, and doing endless loads of laundry. HAHA! Oh boy!
Let’s back up a little. Going through fertility treatments for the past 2 years, I’ve thought about being a Dad a lot. I mean a lot! Filipa and I talked about all the things we would do together, places we would visit, things we would teach our child, and even where she would sit when we watched Netflix lol!
But nothing really prepares you for having a child. Watching her little head enter the world was one of the most amazing things I’ll ever witness. Holy moly was it something I’ll never forget, haha!
Leading up to her arrival, I had a lot of conceptions about being a Dad and I just wanted to talk about some of them that made me realize that I may not be alone.
I thought from the second she was out we would have this instant connection, she heard my voice for 9 months for god sakes lol! I was wrong, Although I later learned it wasn’t anything personal, she’s a baby. A baby that this stage wants one thing, BOOBIES! More specifically food! At least one thing we have in common haha! Food not the boobies, get your mind out of the gutter. This feeling took me a few weeks to get over. Was I doing something wrong? Did she not like me? Every time I picked her up felt like I was defusing a bomb. But Dads, remember she will always have an instant connection with her mother and there is nothing we can do about that, and would you really want it any other way anyways. Our connection is secondary and something we have to work on. This connection takes time and effort.
Wait my baby doesn’t cry she’s perfect! Said no one ever. Crying is absolutely normal. Now the amount of crying obviously varies from baby to baby, but don’t fret. I know I did. Every time I held her and she burst out in tears, I couldn’t help but think is this normal. She’s not ok! But at this stage in her life, this is the only form of communication she has. There has also been a lot of changes in her life. In such a short amount of time she has gone from the protection of her mothers womb to breaking free into an alien world. It must be frightening. So don’t stress about the crying. Remember she will feed off of your energy. Being patient and calm will in the the end help your baby feel safe and protected.
The ONE thing I miss from before! I enjoy my sleep, it has always been an important time for me. And luckily I’ve always been a great sleep. Hit the pillow and I’m out for my full 8. But boy was I not ready for this drastic change. In my ignorance, I thought maybe she’d wake once or twice for 10-15 minutes and head back to sleep. Ok I was WRONG! Skye had different plans. Now this might be specific to us and our child but Skye had a whirlwind of a time getting to bed. She didn’t really have luck on her side in the first few weeks. We found out that she had both tongue and lip tie (read more here), acid reflux, and a jarred neck. Basically the cards were all against her getting a good night rest. After addressing these issues, we stumbled across this sleep course called Taking Cara Babies, this changed everything. Who knew naps were so important. At first we were just going with the flow, sleep when she wants, wake when she wants, but that always backfired. We thought if we tired her out during the day, she would sleep through the night. WRONG! Creating a schedule, not set in stone, was the best thing. I highly recommend Cara’s course.
Ok not the most interesting stuff! HAHA! Poo and pee, who knew there would be so much. Again another thing I may have been too naive to even think about. Gosh was I wrong. Although Skye isn’t the great pooper in terms of amount of poos, when she does poo, it’s earth shattering. My first poo changing experience was graphic (this is not for the weak hearted). I took her upstairs to her room, placed her on the changing table, removed her diaper, thought to myself this isn’t so bad. Cleaned, wiped, and looked away to grab her a new diaper. Did you see where I went wrong? NEVER LOOK AWAY! Lesson learned, Skye thought it would be funny to fire poo across the room. This mustard liquid managed to get itself everywhere. The closet door in her room was open and she got all her new clothes. Great aim babes! On a lighter note, this is the best time I have with her. Skye loves getting her diaper changed for some reason. But I enjoy it NOW too. We laugh, chat, I give her kisses, and we just bond. It works for us! So Dads, don’t be scared to get in there, she’ll appreciate it!
Alright guys, that’s all I got for now, I’ll spill more of the tea soon. Remember it’s not always going to be flowers and unicorns, take your small wins. Enjoy!
If you’ve got any questions or comments drop me a message either below in the comments or a DM on Instagram @playingwithapparelmen. It would be fun to swap some stories.
Ciao everyone and stay safe.