This week has been HORRID!!. I have been locked in my house working the entire week, with exception of right now escaping to my local Starbucks. If you follow my Snapchats and Instastories, you would have seen that the barista had made my complicated order of grande iced black tea, 3 scoops matcha, berries, coconut milk and sweetener before I had even ordered! That my friends is VIP status. I am desperate for human interaction, however no one here seems to be replying to my awkward waves… in fact they look scared! Apart from the girl opposite me… she asked if I needed help, I am certain she meant with my writing. So yes it was such an incredibly boring week, so boring in fact that a few of my Snapchat followers are begging me to give up… assholes!
Anyway while I stand on the edge of mental breakdown, I flashback (because it’s Friday and I am writing this, #fbf is totally appropriate) to my much needed ‘escape’ with Ford… get it? Because I was driving a Ford ESCAPE!… Ugh I give up!
Ford gave us the challenge to cross an item off of our bucket list #bucketlistTO… problem is 1. I am way to scared of everything… so walking around the CN Tower or bunging jumping over Niagara Falls was a massive NONO 2. They didn’t give me enough of a budget to fly out to Bora Bora and live in one of those huts for the week… BOOO. So I thought of something low key, something people would be like WTF that was on your list?! Well yes it was, F**k you! What was this incredibly exciting bucket list item?? Well it was to go to the top of Blue Mountain (not a mountain, more like a hill) and look out over the village of Collingwood. Not only was this a brilliant idea, it was totally within my budget and gave me some left over money to fuel my Starbucks addiction… ding ding!
If you didn’t know my family and I own a beautiful condo on the ski hills of Blue Mountain (check it out on Airbnb here: https://www.airbnb.ca/rooms/6178666 … I just became a Super Host! Yay!), but after numerous years of heading up North for weekend getaways… I have NEVER been to the top of the mountain, I am not a skier (I told you I am scared of everything). Other than finally being able to check 1 thing off of my bucket list, what made this trip even more special was that I was completing it in a chauffeur (Sameer) driven 2017 Ford Escape Titanium. I felt like an absolute celebrity driving through the country roads in this sport appearance package dream. It offered lush heated leather seats (perfect for this frigging cold)… oh it also has heated windshield wipers!! Every Canadian families dream. I didn’t even have to open/close the trunk myself (I’m too fancy for that), I just had to kick under the bumper and it opened and closed…. perfect as my hands were filled with shopping. The interior was so sexy and slick with it’s all black interior and gorgeous 8inch touch screen… OOOO. We blasted many a 90s hip hop and r&b songs while cruising through corn fields and pumpkin patches, with the help of SiriusXM. In fact as I reached the top of the hill *cough I mean mountain, I clenched my fists and reached my arms out to my sides… and the theme tune to the movie Rocky came on…. that shiznet is INTELLEGENT’AY!
The 2017 Ford Escape Titanium also offers Apple Carplay and Android Auto! What is that? I hear you ask, I asked the same exact thing. Basically you plug your iPhone in via the USB port and the display of your phone pops up on the display of the car!!!! What?! I know! So yes this car is one sexy Ford, and features all the bells and whistles. But I am saving the best features till last. What I was BLOWN away by was the intelligence of the vehicle. Cruise control that doesn’t try to kill you! Yes please! Select your speed and the distance you want between you and the car ahead and it will actually sense that car and slow down! It will again regain it’s pre selected speed once the traffic has cleared. Reverse sensing system, although this seems to be in every car now a days (apart from mine, because it’s old and I am poor… help me) I still think it is pretty cool… bleeping noises warn you if your about to hit something… like a really slow old lady in the grocery parking lot. But here is the best… the coolest thing ever! Lane-keeping system, if your like me (crap at driving) then you NEED this… actually everyone needs this. This super rad system helps you stay in your lane… it actually works! Sameer likes to do this thing, where he tries to make me s**t my pants by wiggling the car between lanes, well the joke was on him as he couldn’t try kill me this time… the car wouldn’t let him. Stay in yo lane fool!
Although, I don’t condone falling asleep at the wheel, you totally could in this car (I am not promoting this theory, Filipa Jackson, Playing With Apparel and The Ford Motor Company will not be held liable for anyone’s stupidity) this car is so frigging smart and totally badass… you could, but don’t try! Ford is seriously raising the bar in affordable luxury vehicles.
I have totally realized that I got way too excited about this car, that I forgot to tell you about my bucket list mountain trip. It was really fun, and beautiful… the end. Go check out this car… it’s awesome.
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