Wow, it’s been a while since I hopped on here to talk the shit and just basically get some words out.
SOOO! You may have already read Filipa’s previous post that “WE ARE PREGNANT”, boy are we super excited. I can’t believe it’s even REAL! By now, you may have read that our journey wasn’t as easy as some or as hard as others, but it’s our journey.
Let’s just get a little real, this whole fertility world seems to be so focused on women, although that is incredibly important (obvi.), as a man in the fertility world I felt a little left behind. Our journey was long, drawn out, and just plain old HARD! Just a quick refresher, we started trying just under 3 years ago. From doing the deed (eggplant + taco emoji), to medicated cycles, to multiple IUI’s, to IVF, we tried all the different avenues. Through all this, being a man, you think you have to be TOUGH and MACHO, and not let anything phase you. But guys, reality is, it does! You feel, we feel, I feel, and being a man through this journey, you feel alone. How are you meant to feel? What are you meant to do? Where do you belong?
So I promised myself I wouldn’t get all sappy but I’m not really sure there is any other way. The truth of the matter is there isn’t a guide book through all this. No one tells you how you are meant to feel, you just make it up along the way. After Filipa and I somewhat decided we were starting to try, things were fun, a lot of fun, I mean WE TRIED! I feel like after a few months, when the fun wades and the questions begin to start. Am I doing this right? LOL! I mean how hard could it be, we’ve all played the game, done the deed, there just isn’t a goalie any more, should be even easier right?
Well I guess not. Things were tough, months had gone by, and nothing. Time to have the chat, Filipa what are we doing wrong? We talked and talked and talked, remember communication is KEY. Have an open dialogue, remember you are both going through this together. At this point, it was still to early to speak to a doctor and that wasn’t even on our mind yet. I basically started the black hole of Google. Searching far and wide for the answer. Tried supplements, exercises, positions (lol), and nada, nothing, zip.
12 months later, the feeling of failure a norm, let’s get some help! This is when we began the conversation with our family doctor. She asked all the right questions, made us feel a bit better, and sent us in the right direction. Our next step in this journey, fertility specialist.