Boy oh boy has this blog post taken me forever to get to, ugh I’m so sorry. The procrastination is real! But here I finally am, sat in my beloved office, Starbucks, matcha lemonade in hand and ready to gets a writing.
A while ago, and by a while ago I mean like 4 months ago, I asked you via Instagram stories to ask me any of your fertility questions… and you guys most certainly asked! I was inundated with replies, thank you! I have decided to narrow some of these questions down for the sake of this blog post, and my poor little typing fingers to your TOP 10 FERTILITY QUESTIONS. Let’s get going!
When did you realize something was wrong?
To be honest I started to panic after month one. Crazy I know, but I am someone that is very impatient. I wanted it to happen right away… little did I know! But after doing my own research, I was informed by good ol’ Google, that anything up to 12 months is completely normal. Heck sometimes it takes even longer than that. So as awful as those 12 months were, that’s exactly how long I gave us until we sought the help and guidance of our family doctor.
Did you change your diet for IVF?
This is where I think Google can be your worst enemy. It is flooded with people telling you what you should and shouldn’t be doing, that it all becomes too much. I tried everything when I was going through my IUI’s. I changed my diet, I exercised like a crazy person, heck I even did acupuncture! But none of it worked for me, it’s not who I am… I freaking hate working out. When I was prepping myself for IVF I was very conscious to be as comfortable as possible, to be me! Did I eat healthy? Sure, but I also allowed myself to have a cheat night whenever I needed. I listened to my body and what it wanted. I didn’t restrict myself.
Did you have any side effects from IVF meds?
I think I was lucky with this one, I actually didn’t really. I’ve heard of people really going through the ringer with meds. For me it was mainly bloat, but it was tolerable. But just be wary that meds react differently with different people, give yourself a pass, you’re going to have off days and that is completely OK! Your body is being put through a lot!! So just be kind to yourself.
Did your IVF retrieval hurt?
I got myself soooooo worked up over my retrieval. I was petrified of being in pain, but the procedure itself was quick and painless… maybe due to the IV drip giving me some good good. I didn’t feel a thing. Afterwards I did experience some cramping, but not unlike anything I’ve felt before.
What is something you did that helped with IVF?
Like I said before, I didn’t really do all that much to prep myself other than allow myself to be me! But! I did also do some things that I can’t say were the golden ticket, but they didn’t do any harm.
- Prenatals – I’ve been taking these bad boys for 3 years now, and although they obviously weren’t the answer to getting me pregnant, they did prep my body. My prenatals of choice are https://amzn.to/2tYBCHI
- Pomegranate juice – I loved this stuff during my fertility journey, and it worked perfectly to help thicken my lining. I would drink a cup a day, sometimes even more, it was so yummy!
- Socks – warm feet will be your best friends. Not only will you be comfy cozy, but it apparently warms your uterus. I wore a pair of cozy socks during my whole fertility journey but especially more so after my transfer.
- McDonalds Fries – Ok so this is a total myth, but I loved doing this, it made me feel apart of something. After my transfer I ate a large McDonalds fries, it’s like a right of passage. It is believed that these salty golden sticks of yumness actually help with implantation. I mean it’s worth a try, they sure are delicious.
How did you deal with stupid comments?
I think the worst thing you can say to someone going through fertility issues is, JUST RELAX! The word relax is worse that nails on a chalk board. I’ve been told to just go on holiday and it will happen, and for sure it has happened for some, but I just aint that lucky! When these comments were thrown at me, my polite British self would just laugh them off, but I was dying inside. If I could go back I think I would have educated a little bit, maybe teach people what the right things to do and say were. Like instead of asking, ‘when are you having kids?, try ‘do you want kids?’.
How did you deal with the TWW?
I have been through the dreaded two week wait MANNNNNY a times, but nothing prepares you for a two week wait after IVF. It was the longest time of my entire life. I was symptom spotting like a crazy person, heck I even did numerous pregnancy tests that all came back negative!! The thing that kept me sane was Sameer. Ugh thank you Sameer. He kept us distracted, we did lots of little dates and outings, even just taking a long walk and chatting made me feel so much better.
How did you feel when people were getting pregnant?
This was the worst thing about my fertility journey, not really because watching people around me getting pregnant made me sad, which it did… I’m only human, but because it made me very bitter. I have said this before, but I would get jealous of strangers announcing their news, I would even be jealous of other TTC community (trying to conceive) spreading their joy. The weirdest thing is that this became such a huge part of me for so long, that sometimes even now I catch myself getting hit with the green envy stick. But I think it’s only a natural reaction, it’s something that needs to be worked on.
What would you have done differently?
If I could start again the only thing I would have done differently is communicate about our issues. Maybe not so publicly like I am now, as at the time being quiet is what worked best for us, but I would have sought the help and guidance of the TTC community. They are some of the most supportive and encouraging people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. After communicating with them I don’t feel so alone, fertility issues are super common, they just need to be talked about more.
Would you go through IVF again?
I’m actually asked this a lot, and to be honest I don’t know. As of right now my answer is no, I am content with raising an only child, and although IVF itself wasn’t all that bad for me, it was my mental state that really didn’t react well. But hey you never know, maybe ask me again in a couple of years.
I wish I could have answered every single question that was sent to me, but my fingers are really starting to ache, and the staff at Starbucks are wondering when the heck I’m going to leave. But please know if you have any further questions about ANYTHING, you can always send me a message via my Instagram @Filipajackson.
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