Recently, I was scrolling through Pinterest and came across some pins surrounding “future mom goals.” Now this is Pinterest, so it was mostly just pictures of really beautiful mums in matching outfits with their kids. However, I was also inspired by current mums sharing their insights with all of the future mothers out there. Sometimes advice for future moms can be so trite, incomplete, or just b.s. This is my real, honest advice for future mums.
Your Health and Wellness is Top Priority
Because mums are people first, we all step into motherhood with our own trauma, fear, grief, habits, dreams, and worries. If we focus all of our energy on our children, we can lose sight of our own healing journeys. As hard as this is, you have to make your personal wellness a top priority. The more secure you feel, the more secure your kids will feel. Even outside of your family, prioritizing your health and mental well-being is a critical step in your personal journey.
Learn When to Listen to Others
It’s easy to get on here and write, “don’t listen to anything other moms say!” This is generally the case. I would never tell you to listen to the advice of every mom that stops you in the grocery store to give you an unsolicited suggestion about your parenting style! However, an important part of being a mom is learning when to listen. Sometimes a piece of advice or a suggestion will hit you like a ton of bricks, and you’ll know in your gut that it’s advice you should follow. A lot of times, I think this is because the advice just confirms something that your intuition was already trying to tell you. When you start to tune into that intuition, you’ll be much more confident about choosing what advice to hear and what to ignore.
Be Kind to Yourself
Every single child and every single experience of motherhood is unique. That’s why there’s no standard code or instruction manual on how to be a mum. When you make a mistake or say something you shouldn’t, you have to give yourself grace. The longer you beat yourself up about any little error, the less time you spend learning from the mistake. Focus your attention on taking accountability, making amends, and moving forward. Your kids will see you as an example of the importance of growth!
Remember What You Needed as a Child
We’ve all had varied experiences in our lives, but we were all children once. Whether we got the love and support we needed or not, we’ve all felt that desire for unconditional compassion that comes with childhood. When you reflect on the way you treat your children, try and remember what you needed as a child. You can ask yourself, “how would that have made me feel when I was a child?”. Sometimes your answers will be good: “I would have felt loved and appreciated”. Sometimes, they’ll be not so good: “That would have made me feel anxious”. This type of reflection can help you be really intentional about every interaction with your kids.
It’s All About Love
At the end of the day, the only advice for future moms that really matters is to love your kids. If you love your kids inside and out, you will make good decisions on their behalf. You’ll treat them with respect, you’ll support their dreams, and you’ll provide for them as long as you always remember how much you love them! You’ll stumble and make mistakes along the way, but you’ll always do your best to protect them and bring them joy.
xoxo Fil
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