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Why I’m Hyphenating My Last Name

Hello Loves,

Oh boy is todays topic a scandalous one. To change or not to change, my last name has been quite a heated conversation. However I have decided that I won’t be getting rid of the my last name Jackson, but hyphenating.  I will become Filipa Jackson-Walji.

Some of you may ask, why? Why are you not just taking Sameer’s name? Well to be honest this is a question Sameer asks too. My answer may not be such a solid one but hey let me try explain. I’m no feminist but I don’t really think it’s all that fair that us ladies should have to get rid of our name and switch for the mans. Zoe Saldana and her husband Marco got it right… She became Zoe Saldana Perego and he became Marco Perego Saldana. However I don’t think this would go down well in my household. Lastly, this point might be the most stupid one, but it’s the most important one to me. I’m the only girl out of a family of boys, no one else will be changing their name… this makes me sad. Although they will still be my family, of course, I will be the only one without the Jackson name.

I understand Sameer’s complaints, am I ashamed of his name? No not at all, it’s just hard when you have always gone by this name. Being a Jackson is my identity, an identity that I am proud of. However many a people ask about our children what will happen with them. This is still quite the fragile subject, one that we are still communicating on, one that we will communicate about until we are both happy.

How do you feel about hyphenating? Did you/do you want to change your name?

@filipajackson

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Jacket: Sanne Alexandra Shirt: Sammydress Pants: Forever 21 Shoes: Forever 21 bag: Tory Burch

xoxo Fil

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@filipajackson

P.S. Follow along with me everyday via SnapChat. My username is: Filzer

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101 Comments

  2. Raysa Garcia
    May 30, 2016 / 3:54 am

    I’m obsessed with the entire outfit. You look so chic. Love your name btw 🙂
    Kisses, Raysa

    Reply
  3. Pisa
    May 30, 2016 / 4:11 am

    You look gorgeous love! Love this outfit, head to toe! And the color combo is also great! Your name is so beautiful, I can understand why you don’t want to change it. I think I would do the same and get two last names, mine and from my husband 🙂
    Much love, Pisa
    http://www.inlovewithmyclothes.com

    Reply
  4. Izabela
    May 30, 2016 / 5:49 am

    This is such a chic look. I totally understand why you want to hyphenate your last name. Our last names are part of our identity. I’m not getting married any time soon but I’m sure I’d keep my name.

    http://www.mydailywear.co.uk

    Reply
  5. Prudence
    May 30, 2016 / 7:46 am

    Such a stylish look, love your lace-up shoes! I think it is totally understandable that you want to keep your last name, it is a great choice in my opinion!

    Prudence
    http://www.prudencepetitestyle.com

    Reply
  6. Julia (The Velvet Runway)
    May 30, 2016 / 9:57 am

    I totally understand why you would want to hyphenate your name and it seems the perfect solution to me! I also debated about this and in the end took my husband’s name as it was a nice, simple name. But, then we moved to France and the last name is hyphenated anyway so on all our official documents I have both last names!
    Totally obsessed with your look by the way – you look stunning and those shoes are to die for!
    Julia xx
    http://www.thevelvetrunway.com

    Reply
    • filipajackson
      Author
      June 1, 2016 / 9:45 pm

      Thank you Julia. I don’t understand why people get upset with this topic… I mean to each their own. I think whatever you do is fabulous

      Filipa xxx
      PlayingWithApparel.com | Instagram

      Reply
  8. REBECCA SULLIVAN
    May 30, 2016 / 11:30 am

    Wow this is a cool chic look! Hyphenating is a sign of empowerment IMHO!

    Come check out the 3rd installment of my collab with Los Angeles-based brand TOBI – I’m so sure you’ll love this one!

    Have a great Memorial Day!

    Rebecca
    http://www.redtagchiclosangeles.com

    Reply
  9. Gemma
    May 30, 2016 / 11:50 am

    I am not married and I have children and they have my surname. If I did get married now I would keep my name the same. I think everyone has their own opinion but me and my boyfriend feel that it wouldn’t affect how we feel about each other so just go with what makes us happy. It’s a tough one to decide. Gemma x
    http://www.jacquardflower.uk

    Reply
    • filipajackson
      Author
      June 1, 2016 / 9:50 pm

      That is exactly it, changing your name has nothing to do with your relationship… it’s a piece of paper. But your birth name is your identity… I would have a hard time getting rid of it

      Filipa xxx
      PlayingWithApparel.com | Instagram

      Reply
  10. yuliya
    May 30, 2016 / 12:14 pm

    We’ve recently talked about this with my boyfriend. He thinks that women should definitely take a husband’s name. i kind of don’t really care. for me it’s a question of comfort. Like now in London people really struggle with my surname – Oleynykova and none can say it correct. I would only change my surname to something simpler, but again. There will be so much pain with changing my document then. Honestly, does it worth anything?
    Yukova by Yuliya Oleynykova

    Reply
  11. Amy Ann
    May 30, 2016 / 12:16 pm

    I was excited to take my husband’s name, but as a family of only girls sad to loose my maiden name. If I didn’t go by Amy Ann with Ann and my middle, I would have changed my maiden to be my middle. I totally understand hyphenation. Do what works for you! Loving your culottes. Cool outfit.

    Amy Ann
    Straight A Style

    Reply
  13. Carina
    May 30, 2016 / 2:23 pm

    I think your name sounds amazing! I intend to keep just my name, because I like it and I have no brother to carry the name, so I want to do it. Also, you look fabulous!

    xo
    http://www.carinavardie.com

    Reply
  17. shell
    May 30, 2016 / 8:05 pm

    Beautiful bag! I wanted to hyphenate my last name and I regret that I didn’t. Only because it has been a huge pain and do you know how many Shell Peterson there are in the world!?…TOO MANY! So I am proud of you for doing so!
    xo, Shell
    http://acourageousbeauty.com

    Reply
    • filipajackson
      Author
      June 1, 2016 / 10:00 pm

      Thank you Shell. Really?! I never knew that… never met one haha. I’m sure now you’ve told me I will hear it all the time.

      Thank you for making me feel good about my decision

      Filipa xxx
      PlayingWithApparel.com | Instagram

      Reply
  18. Melis
    May 30, 2016 / 10:53 pm

    i love the combo of those pants and the lace ups! you look so chic girl! and totally agree on the last name, i kept my last name too. i think it really comes down to what you are comfortable with, and i have no idea why people get so nosy about these things hehe!

    xx Melis
    http://fashionmews.com

    Reply
    • filipajackson
      Author
      June 1, 2016 / 10:04 pm

      Thanks Melis. Me either! People are questioning my decision now, I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s going to be like after we get married… or have kids. But this is my decision and I plan to stick with it

      Filipa xxx
      PlayingWithApparel.com | Instagram

      Reply
  19. Stylehue
    May 31, 2016 / 1:09 am

    Such a cool look 🙂 Loving the pop of color with the bag.
    I have the same problem. My boyfriend maybe soom to be something more.. keeps asking me to change my name, but I think I will still keep mine and then put his at the end, or the other way around.
    I can never see myself only using his name.

    xo
    http://style-hue.com/

    Reply
    • filipajackson
      Author
      June 1, 2016 / 10:07 pm

      This is exactly how I feel. I am a Jackson through and through, and that’s never going to change. It’s part of who I am

      Filipa xxx
      PlayingWithApparel.com | Instagram

      Reply
  22. Sandra - More Style Than Fashion
    May 31, 2016 / 4:30 am

    I totally understand the issue about your last name 🙂 I’m no feminist either but as I already have my own last name for all my life I don’t see the urge to take over his. And luckily he did not mind it so much.
    So I kept my name after we got married. Offcially I would have to write his name after it, but I use my own the most of the time.

    Great look btw! 🙂

    x Sandra

    http://www.morestylethanfashion.com

    Reply
    • filipajackson
      Author
      June 1, 2016 / 10:10 pm

      That’s good at least he understands. Sameer is coming round to the idea, although he has no choice really

      Filipa xxx
      PlayingWithApparel.com | Instagram

      Reply
  26. Bash Harry
    May 31, 2016 / 7:12 am

    What an interesting read Fillipa! Honestly, I’ve never really thought of changing my last name since in my culture, it’s unnecessary. Though if it was just about changing names, I kind of changed my real name to this shortened version as ‘Bash Harry.’ It’s my name in all but written documents haha!

    Anyway, love your outfit! You look so pretty in the cardigan <3

    xx Bash |   go say   H E Y   B A S H

    Reply
  28. Siffat Haider
    May 31, 2016 / 8:00 am

    Filipa, I’m totally with you on this issue. I don’t see myself ever changing my last name, and one of the reasons is because I also have two brothers, and as silly as it may sound, I just don’t want to lose that connection to them! On another note, I absolutely love this look!
    xo
    Siffat
    http://icingandglitter.com

    Reply
    • filipajackson
      Author
      June 1, 2016 / 10:18 pm

      That is EXACTLY how I feel Siffat, that’s the connection we have to our family… why should I have to give it up? Glad I’m not alone of this

      Filipa xxx
      PlayingWithApparel.com | Instagram

      Reply
  30. Ela
    May 31, 2016 / 10:45 am

    It is one of the things most of the men seem to want. I wanted to hyphenate but then my now husband wasn’t happy about it and then when he gave in the papers he just put one name, as I wasn’t with him, so now I only have his name. I really wonder why they care about it so much, what’s the problem of having tow names?

    Ela BellaWorld

    Reply
  31. michenn
    May 31, 2016 / 10:55 am

    You’re GORGEOUS and I love that bright pop of orange!!

    And my last name is hyphenated. Not because I’m married (although I would totally hyphenate my name if I was, that’s what my Mom did) but because when I was younger, I really loved my non-biological grandfather and as a present to him, I had my last name legally changed to add his last name. It is a bit complicated having a hyphenated name. . .for one, my name is now really long haha.

    michenn

    michenn Skincare Sundays

    Reply
    • filipajackson
      Author
      June 1, 2016 / 10:28 pm

      Wow this is the sweetest thing ever. I think that’s a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing it

      Filipa xxx
      PlayingWithApparel.com | Instagram

      Reply
  32. Rena
    May 31, 2016 / 12:31 pm

    I know what I mean! I have still my birth name and added only the name of my husband 🙂 Cool bag and look!
    xx from Bavaria/Germany, Rena
    http://www.dressedwithsoul.com

    Reply
  33. Jalisa
    May 31, 2016 / 12:44 pm

    I LOVE your denim culottes and that orange purse is SO pretty! As for changing the last name, I completely changed mine to my husband’s. I’ve had friends who both them and their hubbies hyphenated, similar to Zoe, but they didn’t reverse the names. My friend is one of two girls, so her reason was similar to yours because she felt bad that both her and her sister would not carry on the family name. Her and her husband decided that their kids would have the hyphenated name, too. It’s definitely a touchy subject, especially for men, but each situation and relationship is different. At the end of the day, if you both agree on what to do happily, then that’s all that matters! Such a great post, beautiful, you brought up a topic that is relative to so many! I hope you’re having a great start to your week so far!

    XO,

    Jalisa
    http://www.thestylecontour.com

    Reply
    • filipajackson
      Author
      June 1, 2016 / 10:38 pm

      Thank you Jalisa, it is such a controversial topic that women get judged on all the time. Guess the world hasn’t changed all that much. But it’s to each their own

      Filipa xxx
      PlayingWithApparel.com | Instagram

      Reply
  34. Alice
    May 31, 2016 / 12:51 pm

    My boyfriend and I discussed it and he doesn’t care if I take his name or not, mostly because he knows I’m going to do what I want to do lol! I’m going to be keeping my name as is. Gorgeous look, love the denim!

    xo, alice / T Y P E N U

    Reply
  35. Boi
    May 31, 2016 / 12:59 pm

    Such a great outfit. Love the pop of orange 🙂

    Reply
  36. Viola
    May 31, 2016 / 1:01 pm

    Your outfit is so adorable! <3 Love the pictures.
    Please check out my blog too. That are absolutely stunning photos!

    violaroth.com

    Reply
  37. Ivana J
    May 31, 2016 / 2:26 pm

    First, love the look. Second i really agree on things you said, i dont find necessary to change last name, because it is our right to keep it and be proud and show respect to family we belong xoxo

    http://www.theninebyivana.blogspot.com

    Reply
  39. Sheela Goh
    May 31, 2016 / 4:12 pm

    I’m with you on this, Filipa. Growing up, I recall how my mum was often pressurised by my dad’s family to take his name but no, she was either Chin or Chin-Goh, mostly the former when it came to work and other official matters. I understood how important it was for her, to retain her identity. Amidst the life of a mother and wife, it was vital for her to also be just Cecilia at work. To be herself, you know. That’s why when I got married, I kept my maiden name. I love being wife and mother but I also know how imperative it is for me to be known as me 🙂 it struck me as being a little odd when I first came to the States, in that I’d write my name as Sheela Goh and people would call me Mrs Goh. Ahem. That’s my mum, not me. I’m still explaining things (as in I’m Ms/Mdm Goh and I’m also Mrs Stella) hahahaha but it is what it is. I’m so glad you found a middle road for you and Sameer xoxo

    p/s in other news, this outfit is my absolute fave from you, ever

    Reply
    • filipajackson
      Author
      June 1, 2016 / 10:47 pm

      Thank you Sheela. Isn’t it weird how important this is for men. My family completely accept and support my decision however I don’t think Sameer has even told his family my decision… I think he is afraid to upset them. A last name is your own personal identity, why should I get rid of it? I’ve lived with it for the past 26 years.

      Filipa xxx
      PlayingWithApparel.com | Instagram

      Reply
  40. adele miner
    May 31, 2016 / 7:26 pm

    I completely agree with you, and if I was ever to get married I would do exactly the same! I love the outfit too, it’s perfect! Your blog is lovely too, would love to follow each other.. let me know! x

    adelelydia.blogspot.com

    Reply
  42. Meghan
    May 31, 2016 / 9:18 pm

    While I am not engaged (yet haha), I have made it absolutely clear to my boyfriend I am never changing my last name. While I am not doing it for feminist reasons, I am doing it for the reason that the reason behind changing your last name is old and dated. Also for someone who has been this person for over 30 years, has found herself and love herself before the boyfriend could love her, well that is who I am. I am not changing my last name to conform to what society says I should do. That and my last name is extremely unique and there’s no one like it. If I were to change my last name to my boyfriend’s, there would be a million of people with the same name and I’m personally not having it!

    Getting long hahaha. Thanks for sharing your thoughts girl. I personally don’t see anything wrong with the hyphen either. Love your outfit btw 😉

    Reply
    • filipajackson
      Author
      June 1, 2016 / 10:52 pm

      Amen sister! I appreciate all the support I am receiving. It is incredibly encouraging. I hope that you don’t have any issues with your decision. It can be rather a difficult one

      Filipa xxx
      PlayingWithApparel.com | Instagram

      Reply
  44. Melisa
    June 1, 2016 / 11:54 am

    oh my just went across your blog and your style is AMAAAZING, absolutely love this outfit and i must say, I gotta agree with you on hyphenating last name. probably what I’ll do when I get married! x
    http://www.rebelrebel.co

    Reply
  45. PutAllOnMe
    June 1, 2016 / 2:58 pm

    Yaaas girl – minimalistic outfit on point!
    Love absolutely everything about this look – from trench coat to the shoes, everything is so trendy and chic 🙂
    xx
    http://putitallonme.com/

    Reply
  46. Jodi-Kay Edwards
    June 1, 2016 / 4:29 pm

    You are absolutely right! I really haven’t given it much thought until now, but I do believe if it comes down to that I would also like to keep my last name. I love your outfit, I’m a new blog follower but your content is amazing! 🙂
    http://lifestylefinesse.com/romper/

    Reply
  47. Rachel Holliday
    June 1, 2016 / 8:41 pm

    YESSS! I am all for hyphenating! I agree that your maiden name is part of your identity too! I am loving this outfit hun, especially those frayed culottes

    Rachel xx
    http://www.thedailyluxe.net

    Reply
  49. Face to Curls
    June 1, 2016 / 11:22 pm

    Wow, such a stylish look and I am loving those lace-up shoes! If your husband-to-be is okay with you hyphenating, then awesome! It’s wonderful he understands where you’re coming from. When I got married, I didn’t – I took hubby’s last name. x

    Ann-Marie | http://facetocurls.com

    Reply

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